Oh dear! That is depressing isn’t it? If you haven’t already reached for something to drown your sorrows, hold on. We are going to balance that now. Self-criticism and doubt are two of the greatest strengths of Western Civilization. Our doubt, questioning of authority, challenging ideas and assumptions, scepticism, deconstruction of concepts have been one of the core drivers of the explosion in knowledge, technology, science, freedom and human potential that we’ve seen over the last half millennium.

However, it can go too far. It can become destructive. It is easy to sit on the side lines and pick holes in things, find fault, feel superior and sit in judgement on others rather than taking the risk of being one of those who lead or create. Nothing is ever perfect. Human beings aren’t perfect. We have to do our best. It is essential that we are conscious of our weaknesses, faults and failures in order that we can strive to improve, adapt and put things right. However, in a toxic dose, self-hatred, nihilism, cynicism, conspiracy theories, paranoia, hopelessness, victim mentality, jealousy and envy form a poisonous soup which we ought not to drink. We all know what it is like when we are doing our best and someone stands over us with their arms folded pointing out everything that is wrong, what doesn’t work, what should be better and criticising our good intentions. It is debilitating and demotivating. It makes the self-righteous critic feel good about themselves. It is a popular game to play. We’ve all played it and we’ve all been on the receiving end.

When we acquire or achieve something, we quickly take it for granted, looking for the next opportunity or the next thing to complain about. It is important that we balance our criticism, doubt, desire and fears with a healthy appreciation for what we do have and what is working well. How often have we been infuriated when we have to wait in a queue, when our mobile network goes down, when someone cuts us up on the road or when the doctor doesn’t have time to answer all our questions? We can let it ruin our day. Yet how often do we stop to be sincerely grateful for our absolutely amazing complex food system that delivers cheap nutritious food to us with ease, the amazing transport system that enables us to go where ever we like at a moment’s notice and the telephones in our pockets through which we can speak immediately to billions of other people and access more knowledge instantaneously than previous generations had in their great libraries?

The elixir is a healthy dose of appreciation and gratitude. Our minds have evolved to look for faults, threats and risks. It is essential for survival. This activity happens in our logical frontal cortex, sympathetic nervous system and in our emotional limbic system. Gratitude and appreciation are centred in our hearts and our parasympathetic nervous system, but affect our whole being. When we take a moment to appreciate what we do have, what we are grateful for, what is working and what has been effective, we put ourselves in a very different state. Gratitude is good for us. It makes us more peaceful, happy, healthy, creative, pleasant to be around and in a much stronger position to make intelligent decisions. Gratitude puts us in a state of coherence with others. Gratitude builds our self-esteem and resilience and gives a sense of proportion and perspective so that we can make decisions and judgements from a place of peace and calm rather than fear, anger, sadness or greed. So let’s have a go.